Friendships are, like, the best part of life, right? But here’s the thing: building and keeping meaningful friendships isn’t as easy as just swiping right. It takes time, patience, and honestly, a bit of effort. I’ve learned that the hard way—trust me. But it’s totally worth it when you’ve got people who really have your back. If you’re wondering how to level up those friendships and make them stick, keep reading.

Why Meaningful Friendships Matter (And Why They Shouldn’t Be Taken for Granted)

Okay, so we all know that having friends is awesome. But meaningful friendships? That’s the stuff. And why? Well, they’re like your personal cheerleaders when life throws a tantrum. They’re the ones who’ll help you forget about your problems, even if just for a minute.

In my case, my best friend Jessie and I have shared way too many awkward moments, from getting lost at a concert (long story) to binge-watching The Office for the hundredth time. The kind of friendship where you both laugh until you can’t breathe over the dumbest things. That’s the stuff that sticks.

The Perks of Having Meaningful Friendships

• Emotional support when you’re low
• Unconditional love (even when you forget to text back for days)
• Personal growth—because, honestly, you can’t grow if you’re always surrounded by people who only tell you what you want to hear
• A happy mind, reduced stress, and less “I’m living for the weekend” vibes

Anyway, back to the real deal: how do we get these kinds of friendships? I’ve got a few thoughts.

1. Listen, Don’t Just Hear

I’ve been that friend who zones out mid-conversation. Don’t do that. Listening is actually a big deal when it comes to meaningful friendships. A friend of mine—let’s call him Dave—once told me his deepest secret while I was busy scrolling through my phone. Spoiler alert: he didn’t talk to me about his problems again for a year. (Lesson learned.)

To really build meaningful friendships, you’ve got to listen like your life depends on it. If someone’s spilling their guts to you, give them your full attention. Don’t be the person who says, “Yeah, totally” but then has no idea what they just said.

• Make eye contact (but not the creepy kind)
• Give a damn
• Remember things they mention—that’s when you know you’re really in sync
• Respond with empathy, not just advice (Sometimes, they just need to vent)

Being present is everything.

2. Be Real, No Filters

Look, I get it. It’s easier to show up all polished and perfect—until you realize, oh wait, you’re still wearing the same pants from yesterday. But, let’s be honest: you’re not fooling anyone. People can sniff out “fake” from a mile away, and you’re gonna have a way better shot at meaningful friendships if you just let your guard down.

I learned this the hard way when I tried to hide my obsession with reality TV from a friend. Fast forward a few weeks, and my secret binge-watching habits were the topic of conversation at dinner. No one cared. In fact, they started sharing their guilty pleasures too. It was a revelation. Authenticity is the way to go.

• Share your weird side (Yes, I really do talk to my plants)
• Don’t sugarcoat your life
• Be honest—even if it means admitting your secret addiction to late-night pizza
• Show up as you are

Once you start being yourself, those meaningful friendships will start to feel a lot more real.

3. Make Time for Each Other (Even When You’re Busy)

We’ve all been there—swamped with work, family obligations, and let’s be honest, a million texts you haven’t replied to. But here’s the kicker: meaningful friendships won’t survive if you don’t make time for them.

One year, I completely ghosted a friend because I was “too busy.” Yep, I’m embarrassed. My bad. Let’s just say, I’m very careful now about keeping in touch. Even if it’s just a 10-minute chat or a random meme exchange, stay present.

• Schedule a phone call or hangout, even if it’s last-minute
• Text or message just to check in
• Share something funny, even if it’s irrelevant (because, who doesn’t love a good meme?)
• Let them know you’re thinking of them

Because let’s face it: if you care about someone, you’ll find a way to make time.

4. Be Supportive (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)

It’s easy to be there for someone when things are going great. But the real test of meaningful friendships is when life gets messy. If your friend’s going through a rough patch, don’t bail. Stick it out, even if you’re not sure what to say or do. Trust me, they’ll remember it.

For example, my friend Sarah had a meltdown over a breakup, and let me tell you, I had no idea what to say. But I showed up with ice cream, and that’s all she needed. I’m still her number one person, mainly because I gave her space to be her emotional self, without judgment.

• Show up—even if you’re unsure
• Offer a shoulder, a hug, or just your presence
• Don’t try to fix everything—sometimes, being there is enough

That’s how you build trust in meaningful friendships.

5. Keep It Light Sometimes (And Share a Few Laughs)

This one’s important, y’all. I know I said you need to be supportive, but you also need to have fun together. There’s no point in constantly having deep conversations if you can’t also crack up at inside jokes.

My first herb garden? Dead in less than two weeks. RIP, Gary the basil. I think that’s when I knew my true friendship with Emily had blossomed—she was the one who helped me bury Gary and made fun of my gardening “skills” (or lack thereof).

• Do spontaneous things together
• Share silly experiences—like trying new restaurants that turn out to be disasters
• Create inside jokes that make you both giggle in public (because, why not?)

Laughter is the glue that holds meaningful friendships together, especially when life’s a bit too serious.

6. Stay Loyal, Always

One of the most important ingredients in meaningful friendships is loyalty. You don’t have to agree on everything (heaven knows I don’t agree with my best friend 100% of the time), but you do need to have each other’s backs. When things go south, be the one who shows up.

I’ll never forget when my friend Zoe lost her job, and instead of saying, “Well, at least you have a hobby,” I showed up with coffee, ready to listen. She still remembers that day, and we’ve been tight ever since.

• Be there through thick and thin
• Don’t gossip behind their back
• Protect their secrets like they’re your own

Without loyalty, your meaningful friendships will crack. Trust me.

7. Don’t Forget the Little Things

The small gestures count. A simple “Hey, I was thinking about you” text goes a long way. I try to do this with my friend Lucy, especially when she’s having a rough week. A random “You’re awesome” text always brightens her day.

• Send a text just because
• Surprise them with a small gift or a favorite snack
• Don’t wait for a birthday to show you care

It’s the little things that turn an average friendship into a meaningful friendship.

Wrap Up (But Not Really, Because Friendships Don’t Have An End)

So, yeah, building meaningful friendships takes effort. But trust me, it’s worth it. Show up for your friends. Be authentic. Laugh with them. And most importantly, be loyal. After all, these friendships will help you survive life’s wild ride.

Fast forward to me texting my friend Sam a picture of my dying succulents. She texted back: “You really need to stop with plants, don’t you?” Yep. I learned my lesson. But hey, at least I have Sam to laugh about it with.

So go on. Call up that friend you’ve been meaning to text. Strengthen those meaningful friendships. You won’t regret it.